Proff Moffs Blogs

Ok, so what's the deal here people? I am a frequent Tube user and one thing that has struck me is the overall douchebaggery of most of the users, you know who you are. I mean seriously. What. The. Fuck? I can think of so many cases where I have had to put up with different shit on different days. I have to walk for at least 20 minutes, which genuinely, I am not to fussed about, the extra excersise is always good on the body. Usually on the way I will listen to my music to raise my spirits a bit, which in most cases have been dampened by waking up at an unaturally early hour, knowing that I am about to embark on one long-ass walk and do a days work.

The main case, as I am sure ALOT of people here will agree with. Is the amount of pushing and shoving. I have been to gigs where there is less surging. People will literally wrestle their way onto the already overpacked coach, usually ending you in a corner stuck under some sweaty fat persons armpit. It's the sort of shit you don't want or need in the morning. I remember this one time, at one stop there was clearly alot of people at the station and the announcer....announced that there is a relatively empty train approaching in 3 minutes, yet travellers still crammed their way onto (again) an already over crowded train and it got to a point where this one fellah was shoving this poor woman to get on and I felt that I had to intervene. Not my proudest moment but I shoved him off and told him to wait for the extra 3 fucking minutes. The woman did thank me and a couple of people applauded but I still think what I did or how I reacted wasn't 100% justified.

Another time, I was sat in my seat, contently listening to music and overall, having quite a nice ride on the tube (which is a rareity). When a lady sat opposite me asked if I could turn it down a bit, I recognised that I was enjoying my music a bit too loud. In my defence 'Heavy Metal' is best enjoyed with a bit of volume behind it. But I had no problem with turning down, so I did. 10 minutes later, her friend must have gotten on and sat next to her and they proceeded to practically shout at eachother discussing "lady problems" and other topics which I didn't particularly didn't want to hear about. So I turned back up, much to her disgust. A simple request turnt into a demand to turn my music down, to which I blatantly said no and I said why I wasn't going to, yet for some reason she still thought she was in the fucking right! How exactly could I be in the wrong for practically keeping to myself, not producing that much noise and no one else seemed to bothered by it. That is hypocracy at its best.

Another menace to this method of transport is fondlers, some people should know who they are, especially women commuters. As a traveller is leaving a coach they will give you a quick grope as they get off. I mean are you that fucking sick and desperately lonely that you need to do that. Whether it's flirtatious or you are just perverted. Why the fuck do it? It's disgusting, personally I felt dirty and violated. Twice this has happened to me on the tube and both times it has left me absolutely speachless. I literally didn't know how to react, but I knew for a fact I didn't take it as a compliment and I am sure most other people who have experianced this haven't exactly been left in a good frame of mind.

Lazy women are also a nuisance on the tube. I'm not talking the kind of lazy where they feel it is their obligation to be seated, I'm infact referring to the women who when they do get a seat, proceed to sit on it, then get out their makeup bag. They sit and vigorously apply makeup for the entire journey, part of me wonders about if they have actually washed before they left and part of me is praying that the train will jolt as they are applying their eyeliner, producing a dirty fat line accross the side of their face. Another thing some women are prone to do in their boredom, they will take it upon themselves to analyse their hair and proceed to start plucking out the split ends. That is my absolute pet peeve on the tube. I find it disgusting and unhygienic and just plain rude to the other travellers. I have long hair, I pride myself in its quality, I look after it properly and have my split ends dealt with by a professional hairdresser. Seriously, get all that stuff done in privacy and comfort of your own home, no one likes it when you get an elbow up your nose when the person sat next to is applying their foundation or a mouthfull fucking of split ends that have been floating about!

Just reading back I realised how long this is and that I'm not done yet. Haha. But anyway, people who bring food with strong smells or fizzy drinks are another. Food not so much, because we all like a bit of much, but when someone has a strong smelling food and it smells nice is the one that gets me. Because usually the user knows it smells good and knows that upon smelling their item of food people will start to desire it and instantly notice how hungry they are. Bad smelling food I can usually just block out but good smelling food is unbearable. Fizzy drinks are aggravating for the soul matter that you're on an underground train, the drink is inevitably going to get shaken up, yet people who buy these drinks clearly fail to acknowledge this fact after they have sprayed their drink all over themselves and all over you. One instance I can recall is some guy sprayed sparkling flavoured water over him and me, saw I was sprayed, got a towel out of his bag and dried himself and didn't even offer any condolence to the fact that my rather expensive leather jacket was a rather wet expensive jacket thanks to his igorance. How fucking rude could a person get? Not trying to make myself seem like the greatest person ever, but at least when a misfortune befalls upon someone which I am part or fully responsible for, I try to right my wrongs.

I think I have rambled on enough about tube users for now. I know not everyone is like that, but the majority of users are. One thing I have noticed though is the general rudeness that exists on the tube. They are obnoxious, self preserving, douchebags with no real care for what happens to other people, most of these people being 'respectful' city workers. Or as I like to simply call them, 'suits'. Not to generalise though, there are some nice suits and nice travellers and I am not trying to glorify me in anyway, because I know I'm not an A-class traveller but I do try to be respectful towards other travellers and other people. I am just simply making an observation.

Which brings me onto my next question (which isn't rhetorical, so if you got something share it):
What has been your worst tube experiance/type of user?

Thanks for reading.

  As most of you should know by now there is 3 new episodes of Red Dwarf being added. Me personally, cannot wait, literally when I found out I was so excited. Now less than a month away from the estimated airing time. I decide to check on the progress to discover that the episodes will be aired on 3 different days. 10th-12th of April all at 9pm, then back to back on Monday 13th from 9pm. I am absolutely ecstatic and after seeing pictures of the 'Boys of the Dwarf' all suited up on the official Red Dwarf website, words cannot describe how much I NEED to see these shows.

The pictures can be found here:

http://www.reddwarf.co.uk/news/2009/03/13/sfx-magazines-golden-cover-promotion/

http://www.reddwarf.co.uk/news/2009/02/20/back-to-earth-the-trilogy/

  I then got to thinking about the quality of the show. I know it will be great, but remember the old signiture Red Dwarf special effects, dodgy camera work and the overall shittyness of the visual quality that made Red Dwarf so great? What if they do away with them  and have modern Dr.Who style sci-fi effects? 
 
 Don't get me wrong though, the effects on the new Dr.Who is impressive (not a frequant watcher of it, but what I have seen is pretty good), but I feel that those low quality effects in Red Dwarf really gave the show its spirit and in alot of ways, added to the already incredibally funny comedic content of the show.

But other than that, I give anyone associated with the show an official Red Dwarf Rimmer salute. I look forward to it with growing anticipation

Hey all,

Admittingly, I have neglected my blog page, for the past 168 days, it has been left dormant waiting patiently to record down my opinion on a subject matter. So I have returned after I recieved an automated email sent by a robot (I guess blog.co.uk needed to get down to a personal level, thanks guys.). So yeah, hopefully I wont neglect it as much, just that been busy with work and uni which I started a few months ago, which isn't as cracked up as they made it out to be I might add, moving on though. So I logged back on, and I was suprised to see people still commenting on my blogs and paying attention, thanks nice to be shown the appreciation one of the few friendly internet communities there are, which is partly why I decided to do another blog.

This specific blog I want to be different from the others, I don't want this one to be based around a specific object/person/thing etc which I dislike at the moment, but don't worry there will be some. Me and my friend Dave Ives, who you can see on my friends list. We decided to collaborate and do a movie review in vlog form, we saw the trailer for it, looks astronimically bad, he baught the DVD. Now it's just a matter of watching the film together, but now that I am back to blogging, a bit more incentive to make it happen methinks.

Anyway, as I mentioned before I started uni and that they glorified it. Which isn't really an exageration, I don't really feel like I am learning anything from it. I enjoy one tutors anecdotes about being on the road, they can be really enjoyable and entertaining to listen to, that's about the most productivety I get out of the lecture, as for ther other lecture, based around Music Business. That is just a joke, every week, just get told how much harder it is to make a career out of music, how the industry is going down the pot and how drunk my tutor was last week at some exhibition/label event. The only time I really learn anything is with the sound engineer tutor, who is both a legend, great teacher and produces new stuff for us to wrap our ears and heads round. One good thing that came out of starting this course, is that I actually had a perfect excuse to buy a home studio setup, which is absolutely amazing, as most of my ideas are being recorded down instead of just forgotten and lost forever. I mean I have had some really great musical ideas and by the time I have gotten in a position to record it down I have forgotten it, but now I don't really have an excuse, if I don't record and idea down, it is now generally down to my own negligence/laziness.

One thing I have come to realise is that having your own home studio is one of the most stressful things ever. I know there isn't any deadlines or anything like that to meet to so you're never pressed for time. What makes it stressful is that like most people, I am my own worst critic and the slightest mistake in any of the recordings, I will then delete the whole part and start again, instead of working at that small section. That being because I am a strong believer in if you can't do it all in 1 take, don't do it at all. Again like most people that write music, you want people to think that it is the most amazing thing they've ever heard, absolutely no room for error, even in its slightest form. Also part of my problem is that I can never write a simple piece of music, haha. I constantly add weird chords, change time signitures, tempo changes, key changes, combining genres to make one awesome genre and once I start writing one song, it's like I can't stop and before I know it. I have a piece that lasts like 15 minutes. Which is great for me, but when I am showing it to people, so the prospect of a 15 minute instrumental oddysee (not the greatest of vocalists so I focus more on what I can do) can seem a bit overwhelming.

Also, I have taken up a new hobby. The brewing of beer, still waiting on the first ale to finish, the sheer anticipation of waiting for it to finish and have that glorious first taste. It probably wont taste all to great, but in my eyes it will taste so much sweeter, knowing that it is the fruits of my labour and patience. Looking forward to brewing a lager or stout next time round, most likely a lager.

That's pretty much everything significant that's happened in the past few months, work, uni, making music and making beer...It's been a slow few months. Haha. So yeah, thanks for reading my slightly tamer blog and hopefully get to another one soon, I have a few ideas on what I could write on next, in a slightly more traditional me style blog, but not too over the top. Thanks again for reading, dropping the comments my way.

Scott.

I haven't blogged in a few days because I have been suffering from the notorious writers block. But here goes anyway:

It occured to me just now about the struggle between a person and their diet. Whether it be for a healthier lifestyle, for putting on weight, losing weight or just generally to keep tabs on what is going into your body.

Have you ever noticed, on a food product of some kind, it never gives its ingredients in the whole perspective, but in portions?
Well I noticed and acknowledged that fact today as I was perusing through the fresh stock in my cupboards looking for something to snack on. I noticed what seemed to be a carton of juice of some description. Regardless it turnt out to be Ambrosia Custard and I noticed that it had everything (the ingredients, fat, KJ, cal.etc.) measured and divided in portions of 100g. But not overall, being mathmatically retarded I would of liked it if it were worked out for me. Instead of attempting to work it out for myself standing there like a fool for 10 minutes staring at a food product, with onlookers and passers by of the kitchen probably questioning my sanity.

But then I realised that what for me seemed like a bitch working out the overall amount energy or calories provided by my product must be one mother fucker for those crazy extremist dieters who actually care too much about their diet. Carefully weighing out their portions of food, making sure they don't go under or exceed their given limit. Acting under the most obsurd precision.

Even if you aren't necessarily are that strict on yourself whilst dieting, you still calorie count anyway but almost an impossibility to keep track, because like me. You just can't be fucked with all that bother. It would be slightly more convinient if they marked out on the packaging roughly what is 100g, making it easier for the crazies...and the not so crazy who want to keep tabs on their eating.

Realistically, the way it is now, you might aswell put on the side; 'Too much of this will make you fat.'
Because without a laborious amount of effort, it will be a difficult task to keep track on yourself. The Government seems to be force feeding (no pun intended) us the ideology of healthy eating, yet they don't seem to be making it easy at all. That information on the side might aswell be written in a foreign language for some people. It is like trying to explain what a Banana tastes like to someone who has never tasted one before, or describing a colour to someone who has been blind all of their life.

I personally don't give a fuck about my diet, so I feel slightly hypocritical at the moment, but I was compelled to write about it, as I thought it was a matter that hasn't been touched on alot and I hadn't written a blog in a while and I started to get the shakes. Haha.

My first blog on this website was about Grossman Alien Eggs (http://rememberthosethings.blog.co.uk/2008/09/03/grossmans-alien-eggs-4678147), so I thought I would make my first video blog about them aswell. It fealt right...

Thanks For Watching...

Right, we all should know the advert, due to the fucking insanely annoying jingle that we have been unfortunate enough to have raped into our skulls. If you don't know it, here is one of the adverts:

I had to listen to it again to get myself phsyched up with rage! Good fucking lord! Never ever ever has any jingle or song for that matter ever wanted to make me rip my ears off, run them through a mincer. Have a goat eat the minced up remains, shit them back out. Then me eat it, shit it back out, then stuff the twice digested fesces into my lungs so I choke to death and whilst in the process of choking, drain any blood in my system then headbutt a spearhead!

Seriously, if I had any part in the making of that jingle, I wouldn't be able to go out into the world knowing that I have possibly created the single most annoying thing in the history of man. Fuck chemical warfare, just throw a portable stereo into an enemy bunker playing that jingle in a loop and they will soon shoot themselves. You could use it of PoW interrogation aswell.

This advert should be pulled off immediatly! Anyone who had anything to do with it should be executed! It's not like it is even good acting, full of fake laughter and shit. Watch it again, with no sound (for your sake). Go on... notice how the woman laughs at her laptop without even making her shitty 'customised' card, you just notice how even more terrible the advert is without sound. So they have to add the music just to piss you off more, with a song that isn't catchy, it just lodges itself in your head and no matter how hard you try. You just can't get it out.

You want a funny card? Make one yourself, if you possess any wit you can surely make a card that could surpass their humour by a mile. Just simply add a springloaded picture of a goatse in there. Bang! One funny, yet slightly disturbing card.

No words can describe how much hate I have for this advert, for years, it has plagued us. YEARS! Sometimes getting played twice between advert breaks. Or the worst, you flip to the next channel to avoid it, low and fuckin' behold, it's on that fucking channel aswell! You can't escape it! It is everywhere!!!!

This advert probably is the reason behind alot of people being committed these days, curled in the corner or their padded cell, mumbling 'Moonpig' over and over again, or better yet, at the door screaming 'MOONPIG!' over and over at the top of their lungs! Infact, there is probably an entire NHS funded psychiatric department to the trauma victims of Moonpig.

If you actually like that advert, you are a sad creature and I sincerely hope you see the error of your ways...Soon! As for the makers. I hope you are proud of yourselves. You done what you wanted to achieve, create a jingle that will stick in peoples heads and I detest you for it...

Just for shits and giggles, I challenge you to find an even worse advert!

Ok, so I just read in the Telegraph that 5. FIVE Sharia courts are now operating in our nation with a full enforceable judical system through our High Court. Now I am not a religious person, nor am I a racist. But what the fuck? This nations Government is seemingly bending over backwards to accomadate traditions and beliefs that not our own, to the extent that they seem to be doing more for a foreign culture than for our own.

The Government, understandably has to make some changes to make it more tolerable to our permanant vistors. Which to an extent, I believe is fair. But to do this, I think is outrageous, our court system already has enough problems as it is, unable to resolve crimes, over sentancing for petty crimes, sentancing the wrong people. As is with many countries, but to bring in a new legal system which would create two contrasting systems is, frankly, obsurd. It will simply create more loop holes for actual criminals to simply leap through when (emphasising 'when') they find out what it is.

Is our Government intent of fucking up our country that much? it has been prooven that Sharias do not work in several democratic situations, so why put it in a country with an already existing legal system and supossedly democratic status?

I am pretty sure if aload of British immigrints decided to go to most Islamic nations (for whatever reason) and started imposing laws on their government, they would be thrown in jail, or worse for inciting some sort of plot to overthrow the powers of the country. Yes this country has got the right of 'Free Speach', but does it give people of other cultures the right to come in to our nation and start pointing the finger about what we are doing wrong? We have other more pressing matters to attend to other than appealing to a minority (who in reality, is seen by the acting Government party as just another vote). If they don't like it, why don't they go to a nation where they are doing it "correctly".

I think we should excersise tolerance, allowing people of different cultures and belief to live the way we do. If they want to wear certain clothes or symbols due to a religion or belief, go right ahead. However, I don't agree with imposing your beliefs onto other people.

Because of our constant struggle with the almighty 'political correctness' we have had to not put as much Christmas decorations (yes there is that energy saving element, but we are doomed anyway), nativity plays in alot Primary schools have been stopped and generally alot of other things have been stopped due to fucking 'political correctness'.

On the other side of the page however, big deal made for St. Patricks Day, Festival of Lights, Chinese New Year and aload of other foreign cultures are made a big deal out of. What happened on our patron saints day (St. Georges for the ignorant), fuck all, that's what, Mr. Livingstone had a shitty event in Trafalgar Sq...joy.

Whilst we are going into an apparant credit crunch, our Government seems more concerned about pleasing other people than sorting the shit out here first, which will effect the whole damn Nation and everyone in it. Including Nations and Countries part of our trade circuit.

I'm really not trying to be offensive or sound horrible here, but seriously, what does our Government hope to achieve by using our time, our tax money and our rescources on ludicrous ventures like these I ask.

For more info on the Sharia courts, visit:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/2957428/Sharia-law-courts-operating-in-Britain.html

Richard Wright, Musician, Co-Founder of Pink Floyd. 28/07/1943 - 15/09/2008

R.I.P.

You've been an inspiration. Thanks

Right, where to start?

When I first heard her, I thought it was fairly original by taking an old sound and giving it a modern twist. Then as she was constantly getting air time, I slowly began to get sick of her. Realising that she wasn't as cracked up as the media was making her out to be. I thought, it's just a phase, she will die out eventually. Nope, she is still going, doing festivals, touring and still getting fucking air time!

I find myself asking, why is she still so popular? Her music is so repetative it is beyond belief, her songs for me, lack zazz. They just don't have any zazz. Then I notice the media seem to be making a big deal about how she is drunk all the time and following her about and such. I typically though, just leave her alone, people get drunk all the time, what makes her special? Then didn't really think anything of it after that. I continued to notice according to the media (because they inevitably manage to stuff their dribble down our throats somehow) that she has kicked up a drug problem, yet she was still pumping out stuff of very good studio quality.

So I then decided to do a bit of research for myself and look into her live performances. To be honest, I was fucking appauled at what I witnessed, alot of the videos I found on Youtube, was her 'performing' completely off her tits. She was so drunk that she wasn't even capable of remembering her own lyrics and seemingly attempted to hide the fact she was drunk by turning them into an inaudible blob of moaning and slurring. I swear, if shit and puke mixed together had a sound, it would sound like that.

At first I started to pity this poor creature, she had lost a horrendous amount of weight, lost dignity and has a serious problem with alcohol and drugs. Now, sadly I honestly don't care, I no longer consider her as a victim of her own ways. There are only two real victims of this, one being her fans. Why her fans? here's why. Because they will fork out from £20-£40 (possibly more if she was performing at a festival) to see one of her live shows and only to be faced with that load of shite. I would be so gutted if one of my favoured artist/band gave a performance like that and possibly never go again. I mean show your fans some respect here, they are (should be) paying for your albums/singles, paying to see you live and this is how you repay their loyalty. Frankly, I think it is fucking out of order. Yet some of her fans still remain loyal to her music, why? I don't have a fucking clue!

The second one of her victims is her backing band. Imagine having to put up with some drunken, high woman who can barely stand let alone 'sing'. I know I would be so embarassed and I would actually refuse to play for her. Yes they probably get paid a considerable amount of money (which is probably why they haven't left yet). But me personally, I would of left a looong time ago, fuck the money. I have morals and standards and some remaining dignity, enough left that I wouldn't want to be shown up by some drunk who has a dead chimp glued to her head.

She constantly refuses rehab, even though she has been warned on several occasions that her lifestyle is threatening her life, including having one serious incident where she had damaged her lungs from smoking to much crack. Still she doesn't learn. I mean reality check here, carry on and you will die soon, come clean and live. How much more simple could you get, I know that would scare me straight. Surely by now that the police are aware she takes a stupid amount of drugs. So why haven't they gotten her on possession? Even if she got a relatively short sentance (in comparison to the average sentance for possession of class-A drugs), that should be enough to set her straight. Yet like her, they do nothing. Why?

Personally, I have have lost ALL respect for this person. There is nothing left, if she came clean, I would have a little respect for her. A little being an overstatement. If she doesn't and dies, I will simply say, she had it coming. What I am about to say here is pretty horrible, but it is a sad truth, the way she is living her life right now, she is a waste of Oxygen and resources and I honestly believe that.

The drugs are...have ruined her life, she has eratic behaviour and mood swings, anorexia and all sorts of crazy health problems which I couldn't begin to pronounce. The sooner she dissapears and hits rock bottom, the better. If she dies before she hits the bottom, oh well, she should of listened.

Here are some Youtube links of her attempt at a live 'performance':
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dewtCShee04 (Back to Black)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vfdl7-E80Q&feature=related (Beat It. With Charlotte Church)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=peW87nsoIWU

Personally, I think it is a disgrace, to herself, her fans, her band and music. These videos aren't hard to find of her. All I have to say is. SORT YOUR FUCKIN' LIFE OUT!!

I haven't really been paying as much attention to the election as I maybe should have been. I caught up with the two speeches held by the Republican Party (McCain and Palin). Personally, I think the whole thing is a joke, they were talking about change, changing what?! Not much talk about healthcare, not much talk about education and certainly not much talk about that great big fuckin' hole George Bush has dug us into in all his infinite wisdom. I see it as a very likely event that McCain will get into office, seeing how Republicans are pretty much controlled by the CIA, most likely rigging the election with the cost of dipping their fingers in the bucket which controls the country, more like their whole fucking arm. The 'Democratic' system is pretty much corrupted overall anyway.

So far, what I am following of both parties is pretty vague so I don't feel like I am liberty to complain about the system, I know I have the resources, but to be honest, I feel we aren't being informed enough on the events of this situation from our "friends" on the other side of the pond.

I feel that seeing how the USA is probably the biggest super power on the planet, we have very little control over the outcomes of these elections. Also seeing how they are one of the biggest influences of economy and war-mongering. It struck me that we should have some say over the end result. Because whatever happens over there will indirectly have a heavy influence on our nations actions, which usually we don't have much say over anyway, if you used a 3rd party voting system, there would be less chances of the votes being rigged, because USA agencies would have little to no control over the outcome.