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Bombay Sapphire, London Dry Gin. For years now, I have wondered what mysterious tastes lay behind the fascinatingly apparant "blue liquid" that has sat staring at me from many a Bar and Off Licence.

I don't know what has been stopping from drinking it all this time, it hasn't really been shortage of money, or time. Infact, there is no real reason why I haven't tried it, considering it is pretty cheap the way alcohol is going these days.

So anyway, I have a student living in my house and the other night he went off to work party and thought of me by stealing aload of beer (not great beer, but free beer is good beer in the eyes of the beerholder) and a bottle of this drink, which has been elusive to my taste buds all this time.

I thought I would save the bottle for any parties that may come up. But, temptation got the better of me, I needed to try this drink (yes! I NEEDED to try this drink). I opened up my booze cupboard, retrieved the bottle and opened it.

Now, I'm sure most of you will agree that when you try something new, it is like natural response to smell it first, so I did. To my disgust, it smelt exactly of aftershave. That's 1 - 0 to me Bombay Sapphire. I then poured some into the cap of the bottle which revealed to me that fuckin' drink wasn't blue! It was the colour of the bloddy bottle! I was gutted, I have been betrayed by the colour blue! Everything that is blue tastes good, I have been lied to all this time, so if the liquid isn't blue, that mean the taste quality has decreased aswell. Further dissapointment, 2 - 0 to me.

After establishing that this thing smells like shit (booze is not supposed to smell like aftershave) and isn't blue. I cautiously proceed to drink it, bearing in mind I wanted to find out what it tastes like, not just neck it back. I get the drink in my mouth and oh my good god! I have never tasted a drink so rancid before in my life, I mean Lambrini is bad, but this shit is on a whole new level! It isn't blue! It smells of aftershave! And guess what? Tastes like fuckin' aftershave aswell.

Now I know Gin is a rank drink anyway, but this Gin should be like the ephiphany of what booze should not taste like! KISS once said that Cold Gin could be one of the best drinks there is during one of their live sets. THEY LIED! That's two more hits at the drink. 4 to fucking 0! How could this drink possibly be any good. Just look at the ingredients:

Spanish Almonds
Spanish Lemon Peel
Chinese Liqourice
Italian Juniper Berries
Saxony Angelica Root
Moroccon Coriander Seeds
Indo-Chinese Cassia Bark
Java Cubeb Berries
West African Grains of Paradise (What ever the fuck they are)

I mean it even sounds like some sort of organic aftershave! or some sort of crazy fucking cleaning detergent!

Personally, I never thought I would be complaining about an alcoholic beverage in such detail, usually you would just say how bad the drink is and never drink it again...well maybe for a laugh. But this drink was so vile that to be honest, it needed to be done and I can almost guarantee that it will be at the next party, because I'm certainly not fuckin' drinking it. I will give it to the most least suspecting victim who is drunk enough to down most of it in one go.

In short, don't be tempted by the pleasant sky blue colour this drink gives off, for all of you Gin lovers out there. You disgust me...
If you want a good blue alcoholic drink, buy Tropical Sourz, so lush!